February 2012
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what makes you happy?
thebiggestlightningbug:
“people minding their own business.” “boobs.” “sunny Fridays.” “the 22 people I’ve arrested.” variety of responses from a variety of Chicagoans.
Tina makes me happy.
Tumblr is full of clothes you can’t wear, food you...
close-to-blasphemy:
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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
I believe there are too many children who need loving parents to deny one group...
– Barack Obama
(via gloomyteeen)
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africans:
everyone i follow is a girl until i find out they’re a boy
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hipsterwavves:
I enjoy long walks on the Internet.
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The rest of the Academy Awards:
alexander-sexgard:
apriki:
Most Camera Pans to Gauge Their Reactions: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, God Status
Most Likey To Become An Alcoholic Drinking Away the Pain: Leonardo DiCaprio, Go Home Buddy
Best Uggie: Uggie, Uggie
I’m So Commited To Not Showing Up, I Have A Clause In My Will That Says My Ashes Can’t Be Taken Within 20 Feet of The Oscars: Woody Allen, A Quirky Movie About An...